I've been thoroughly blessed in my life. I don't admit that often enough, but I am. Very richly, and very truly. Praise God.
I'm not sure I have any readership left (not that I was overflowing with it to begin with), but the time has come again to write down my thoughts. Whether read and enjoyed, or lost to the antiquity of the Blue Nowhere, only time will tell.
"Eric," you ask, "what has changed in your life since you last spoke?"
Dear reader, I tell you: everything.
My last legitimate post was in March of 2009. I wrote a poem talking about the peace of God. In the same vein, it was a way of saying that God's role in my life was finished. I knew of Him, understood (or so I thought) Him, but I had grown weary of this slowly unfolding plan. I wanted my own life. I was so sick of the pain I had been through. He took away the woman I love from me. He caused upheaval within my family, and amongst my friends. All of my "mature" life I had served Him, and this was the thanks I received? No thank you.
I began to travel. And to drink. A lot. I moved in with some friends, and lived recklessly for a few months. Looked for work on and off, played a lot of World of Warcraft. My days consisted of very little substance. I grew more and more complacent.
I started exploring this country of ours (Canada, for any international readers out there). Flew to Alberta, BC, Manitoba. Enjoyed indulging in whatever I could, because I felt it was my birth-rite.
I wouldn't go into great detail, but until April of 2011, nothing changed. I spiraled further and further into a schizophrenic nightmare.
But one day, that all changed.
I had decided to meet with an ex-girlfriend: Elizabeth. I think I dated her before the conception of this blog... I am too lazy to check, so bare with me. We had a few drinks at a pub in Guelph, and headed out on our merry way to wherever. As we exited the pub, and made our way down the street, I saw something that destroyed me.
My ex, Sarah. Walking with my ex, Crystalyn. While I was walking with my ex, Elizabeth. My mind, snapped. My heart, shattered. I nearly collapsed on the spot. I made my way to the fountain nearby and sat on it's edge. I raised my eyes, and the only thing I could see was the most beautiful thing I'd seen in a long time.
Church of Our Lady.
I crawled the steps, wept and prayed. I wanted God in my life again. I knew I needed Him. But would He bring me home after everything I'd done? The answer to this:
Yes!
My life didn't turn around immediately.. but that's a story for another day. Thank you for reading.
I love you all.
-Gabriel
