When we last spoke, I told the story of how my journey back to faith began. Years of wandering in my own personal wilderness had led me, tired, weary, and weeping to the doors of the Church. I needed change, I craved peace. I longed so much for true, pure love. In that moment I knew the old adage was true.
"You'll never truly say, 'Grace is all I need', until grace is all you have."
In that moment, grace was all I had. I wasn't entirely sure what it was, but I knew nothing else in my life mattered. I sat and praised God in all His glory, taking in the world from a perspective I had never seen before. My soul rejoiced and my heart was at peace for the first time in what seemed like eternity. I knew I had to change, and give up the sin in my life. Return to the fold of God and allow myself to do His Will in my life.
I went home, broke up with my long-distance girlfriend (another long story). I hopped on the internet and messaged one of my dearest friends, Gregory Watson. I told him to sign me up for that fall's RCIA (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rite_of_Christian_Initiation_of_Adults) program. I had studied the Catholic Church for a number of years, and knew that is where I would find God truly and literally present.
Greg delighted in my return to faith, and began to make plans for that coming fall.
Though newly excited by my faith, old habits died hard, and I allowed Satan to disrupt God's work in my. I after some failings and hard times in my life, I turned to the drink again, all culminating in me waking up on the floor after drinking most of a 40 of vodka in a few short hours. I had sufficiently snuffed out any work God was doing in life(or so I thought).
Many years back, David, Andrew, Greg and I went on an awesome, God-filled camping trip. I felt that this summer, we all had sufficient time off, and money to partake in the same again. Sadly, Dave couldn't make it, but the other three of us ventured north, and enjoyed some time together. After much driving, getting lost, and setting up camp in the dark, we settled into what would become one of the greatest weekends of my life.
A good deal of time was spent in fellowship: talking, cooking, swimming. Knowing he would be in no fit state to wake up the next morning for Mass, Greg looked up the Mass times(for Saturday evening) for the nearest Catholic Church, and directions on how to get there. He invited me along, and I decided to go with him.
For years, whenever I entered a place of God, I put up spiritual "Blinders" to stop any supernatural activity (in essence: to deaden the nerves of my soul). But as we entered that Church, I forgot, and by the time I had genuflected, and kneeled in the pew, I was in tears. I felt God so strongly within me. Greg wondered what was wrong, but quickly realized the wonder that was taking place.
The Gospel reading for that day was very appropriate:
22 Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. 23 After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, 24 and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.
25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.
27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
29 “Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
32 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33 Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”
Since that moment, my life has truly turned around. As I journey further into the Catholic Church, I find such astounding joy, overabundant peace, and the serenity I longed for. My story doesn't end here, I think.
I think it is just beginning. :)
-Gabriel
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